If You See Me..

This is the face of someone who needs a break. Yes I said it... I need a break. This quarantine really has got me stressed out. Yes, I know that I am not the only one, however for this moment I am saying that.. I NEED A BREAK!  A break from my kids, my fiance, my job.. everything honestly. Also, it's totally ok to say this. NOt everything is peaches and cream right now. I just feel overwhelmed and frustrated more than ever. 

This is the face of someone who has depression. Sure do have this... in fact right now is probably the worst that it has been in a long time. When Keith told me that what I think is how I am when I'm depressed is how I've been behaving regularly.. well then.. its time to get some professional help. So I made an appointment with the doctor. I am happy to report that I am on a better path and should start feeling better soon. 

This the face of someone who wants more out of life. Duhh! how could I not? I'm 30 years old and of course I don't feel like i should be where I want to be. I had two kids under 25 years old. I have done nothing but struggle for the last 10 years of my life... you know what... I am done. I want more.

This is the face of someone who loves with all of her heart. I give it all. If I choose YOU to be in my life... then you should know that I love you with everything. I will do what ever you need. All you need to do is ask me. I will be the one you call and cry to. I will willingly give you my shoulder to cry on. I am a chameleon.. i can adapt to most all people  therefore making GOOD MEANINGFUL friendships so deep. Which is probably why I cant seem to make friends easily.. I think that I am willing to GIVE but most people don't want to GIVE back. On the flip side.. I am Human and I make mistakes.. tell me about them... I swear I will be ok... maybe I'll be mad for like a little but it wont stop my LOVE FOR YOU. 

This is the face of someone who is afraid. Well where do I start with this one? I am so afraid of the unknown... it makes me feel completely out of wack. I just can not stay focus on what is the important part.... more important with the unknown... what is that you may ask? Well... I miss the "NOW". Maybe I am more afraid to be in the now? I guess I'll talk about that in therapy? 

I guess what I wanted was to say is that we all have more than the face the you see. We are deep and full of so many things. We are just like Ogres. We have layers. 

Love Ya.










Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Am On Struggle Bus.

The Struggle Is Real Out Here. I am not sure about any of my other moms( and dads) out there... but I am seriously struggling with all of this. It is not necessarily the whole quarantined thing, honestly I get it. This is all about how I feel on the inside because of this.  I love change, in fact whenever I can change something to hopefully make things better I completely embrace it. I love routine and I love to make a new system more and more productive.  Honestly, since like 2 weeks ago... I feel totally out of control of the change. I get it, no one was prepped for this, and logically this statement makes total sense... but emotionally I feel TERRIBLE .  The Mom Guilt is Real I am not Super mom and I know this, but why do I want to seem like I am?Why is everything in front of me so much more important? Why am I not giving myself the space to do the things that are important to me? What is even important to me at this time?  I mainly think it is beca...
Read more

Keeping It Spicy!

How Do You Keep Your Relationship Spicy?  After 10 years of being together honestly, Keith and I have to work on being present in our relationship a lot. Especially because we were young parents,our whole relationship is surrounded around our kids. We literally have to make time to work on our relationship. We didn't really know each other too well when we had our first child together so when we decided to make it work, we were both still in our early 20's and didn't understand that the other person has needs in a relationship.  Weither   those needs were emotional or sexual.. they were not being met.. for either of us. Men and Sex  Men learn everything about sex from pornography, and if you ask the woman in your life she will tell you that the orgasm the girl in the pretzel of a pose is faking it. Sure the reaction to sex is real.. but that BIG orgasm is all acting. Men learn to just stick it in and make it work... HELLO... have you ever heard of four play?? ...
Read more