I Am On Struggle Bus.

The Struggle Is Real Out Here.

I am not sure about any of my other moms( and dads) out there... but I am seriously struggling with all of this. It is not necessarily the whole quarantined thing, honestly I get it. This is all about how I feel on the inside because of this. 

I love change, in fact whenever I can change something to hopefully make things better I completely embrace it. I love routine and I love to make a new system more and more productive. 

Honestly, since like 2 weeks ago... I feel totally out of control of the change. I get it, no one was prepped for this, and logically this statement makes total sense... but emotionally I feel TERRIBLE. 

The Mom Guilt is Real

I am not Super mom and I know this, but why do I want to seem like I am?Why is everything in front of me so much more important? Why am I not giving myself the space to do the things that are important to me? What is even important to me at this time?  I mainly think it is because EVERYTHING is a priority and important to me... and I feel like I am constantly failing at it all. Even though, my Fiance tells me that I am doing a great job and he wishes I could see it. 

How do I work a day job, handle school work with my kids 4th grade and Kindergarten, clean the house, make sure they are eating food( not just junk), be present in my relationship AND still have time for me? Which one do I ignore? Which one should be worked on first? 

My therapist told me that I needed to find some way to provide " self care" to myself and allow myself to obsess over things that I can control... ummmm when is the question at hand. 

I know, I know.. this too shall pass.. but DAMN... my anxiety is on 1,000 with no end in sight. I think the worst part is that logically I know that this will be over and it should be simple to just move on and . I know that I wont be anxious forever about these things... but I don't think that really helps me out very much. 

Please tell me that I am not the only one. Please tell me that you are going through so much too with all of this shit happening. 

I am going to try my hardest to " turn off" and let me anxiety cool off. If you have any suggestions on how this can help.. please let a girl know! 



Comments

  1. BeverlyApril 16, 2020 at 11:47 PM

    I think that you already know my comments. This is just part of life. We always think we're not doing enough when we're probably doing too much

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TanjaApril 17, 2020 at 10:01 PM

      i love you and thanks for the support mom!!

      Delete

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